Ever since I had emotions, and learnt to express them, even since I've learnt what being "loved" meant, ever since I realised I'm no queen Tracy, You've been there for me. Yes, I've had no better place to express my emotions. Although a few close pals read you, they would have read me before anyway..It's just that I've felt really lonely of all the days, today. Started off normally, dad, dropping me for my class at 8, me searching for an empty desk, surrounded by few people who'll hardly notice me and leave me, day dreaming.Maths,Physics,Physics and Maths!In between, exchanging a few smses. What went wrong I don't know! I was acting weird since morning. Either being too grouchy or pretending not to listen when people are screaming their throats out! Yes, I do it purposely. You know that as well. I hate being talked to. I hate people telling me stuff. I hate people telling me I should change, in fact I hate change. I hate it when they remind me "my good ol' days", I hate it when they act ghey, I hate everything and anything around me...except when I'm all alone..digging into my choco-chips ice-cream. I don't believe what's happening to me. I have grown so stone-cold-rock-hard hearted. When was I like this?
"Do you really think you could read my face? Do you even know what I think about you? Do you know I avoid you, yet I wait for you to start a conversation and still think you're amazing?"
Somebody take me away to cherry blossom, so that I'd stay a nun my whole life, meditating!
But, in the end, you're always there to let me puke everything that's biting me up.
Maybe, it's good for me. Maybe, I'm being kept on the waiting list for things better than before, let's hope, maybe.
Maybe all this will end one day? Maybe everybody I hated, will not be hated anymore? Maybe I'll sit with people around me, happily chatting away? Maybe I'll find the person I always wanted to be with, in a person I've known for long?
Maybe I should wait?
Whatever, I know you're always there for me. All I need to do is, drag a chair, and type..!
Love you more that choco-chips,toblerone,nirvana.
Siri.
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