What goes around comes back around....

That was the first thing I heard as I got up today.

Seriously.

My life's in a very weird stage. I have people around me constantly reminding me I have to some how work hard and get myself a nice seat in a university or whatever.

Then I wondered....it is a damn common phase in every kid studying like me.
(I hate that feeling actually!)

Anyway...can we put studies, lectures, manners and all the other crap aside?

Today was actually a different day in my life. Seriously it made a huge difference. I actually couldn't believe what I was experiencing. In the middle of my Maths class...tears were rolling out of my eyes.(err...I was crying!! They don't come just like that right?)

And why?

Because I was actually in such an idiotic mood that I could get nothing in my head when my lecturer was teaching me EXPONENTIAL and LOGARITHMIC series.

Actually I immediately took a sheet of paper and wrote down a few questions..that's my self-analyzing mood test.

1. What am I exactly thinking at this moment? *What the hell is in your mind DAMNIT!!*

2.Do I have any sort of an ache at any part of my body NOW?

3. Am I wondering why the hell am I not able to score marks in my exams?

4. Do I actually love myself? *bang your head and say you love yourself if you wrote a no!*

5. Can I actually do anything to prove myself at any moment?

the last question is

Will you forget your past and start afresh?

O.k the last question was the newly added one today.

If I wrote many No's ..then I get that period for relaxing as I am in a very Psycho sort of mood then.

If I wrote many Yes's then I am going to concentrate and work myself up to catch the speed at which my class is running as I am in a competitive mood then.

But today was different. Instead of giving a yes and no I gave a "MAY BE" for most of the questions.

Why?

Because I was surrounded by many many many students who could make me look like nothing if we were given an assessment test at that moment.

But hey so what?

I donot want to drag it any longer. It's easy. I developed a complex. An inferiority complex. The complex I helped people over come from. And now me? The victim of such a sick thing? Something I thought I was sure of not letting it occur to me.

But what made me get this complex?

Easy...

I was scared to venture. (Do I sound like I AM MY OWN DOCTOR?)

Lol I know you find it weird reading it. But yes, I am. I well got this phobia of trying out problems and get proper solutions for them when I entered into my new class.

Well sigh..can't do anything right?

Who the hell said that? I obviously can do so many things!
I actually decided to follow my heart and speak my mind out to every teacher who comes to our class without worrying about the sick glances I get from my fellow classmates.
I will (err SHALL is much appropriate right?) do better and break that complex as soon as possible.

I totally thank my maths sir who spent much time in convincing me that I can fight back my conscience and change myself for better. I took this condition for granted.How ridiculous can one be? THIS RIDICULOUS!!

PHEEEW! I feel so light now. Feel as if the whole burden on me has suddenly been taken off my back and am a free person now.

You want to know what I'll write for those mood-analyzing questions now?

1. Why do guys like acting emo sometimes?

2. Nope. I feel fit and fine as a fish! (err..fishes are active all the time right. I love their energy.)

3. Am not bothered actually. HEY!! I am. And I very well work hard to improve my results.

4. Well, I love myself but...Oh no! My head will hurt if I say NO. ;-) I loooooooooove myself!

5. At this moment? Well sure if I've gotta prove myself in being the best blogger in the family. :-P

6. Well shrujan will kill me if I tell him I added this question. At any cost, I will. What ever negative stuff I came across I'll definitely try ignoring it and start afresh.

This I promise myself. Thanks a looot for people who made a difference in my life.

Includes people I know, people I've known for ages, people I'll know and keep them in a special place in my heart etc. You get the picture right?