Bond making or bond breaking?

Cool it! Organic chemistry has been giving me nightmares of late...benzene, resonating structures, reaction mechanism, (am I mentioning the easy stuff?) that's it! Chemistry could be a pain in the neck as well as "The best subject!" sometimes.

Anyway, posting about chemistry is not my topic today..(don't worry I won't bore you guys by typing chemical reactions and methods of preparations of alcohols and blah blah.) I wanted to post a real different post today.

Here is something I'd love to share with you guys....

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she's settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity.

Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth - her sight was never going to return.

A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task.

Soon, however Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?

Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it.

And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat.

He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office.

Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.

Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own.

Monday morning arrived, and before she left she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday ... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself!

On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you."

Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year?

Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?" The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are."

Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and asked again, "What do you mean?"

The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."

Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love and faith that can bring light where there had been darkness.

Doesn't this story strike something in you?

Well totally, especially for a person like me..it's one of the best I ever came across.

All these days..All I did was curse myself for being the person everyone hated.
I never gave a chance to clear it up either....

A few lines from a friend of yours changes your thinking isn't it?
A friend of mine quoted this when I said I didn't understand myself and I never liked myself either, "When someone doesn't love him/her self, it is only because of 2 reasons..either they do not live like themselves!Or they do not love what they are doing!"

Let's forget about me here...I haven't even given a damn to people with much greater problems than mine...people do not have basic needs...they do not get food to eat everyday...they are abused physically and mentally...they are exploited horribly...Why?

Comparing my weaknesses and my emotional conflicts with these problems is like comparing a small stone in space to the big comet..Isn't it?

So here I realize..I've woken up after a great time...sometimes even though you are perfect your are blind and sometimes when you are blind you are still one or the other way perfect!

My problem is to be dealt with great patience and lots of hardwork..sulking won't help me..I realized it.

All I've got to do now is Love myself first! Thank God this is cured! And yeah! For all those who are really unhappy with themselves, or with anything in life...just close your eyes and think if it's much more serious than going to bed starving badly and when food is given..stare at it for some time and die even before eating it? Or is it as serious as being on the war for days together without food or water and still keep fighting for the country even if you know you might not see your family again?

Doesn't that give you a chill in the spine? It gave me so many chills that I opened my eyes and killed the things blinding me...

I hope I'll never lose my belief and faith I have now and I desperately hope for a change in my behavior. Thanks to the wonderful people in my life! Thank you for tolerating me and dealing with me and thank you Dhaval...for being frank and helping me realize I shouldn't give a damn about what people think about me.

And finally thank you all back-biters for back-biting and talking ill behind my back..cause if you people didn't then I wouldn't know what's like facing the other ugly part of me...and I wouldn't clear my weaknesses without you guys. Of course, how would you appreciate light without facing the darkness?

Thanks a lot!

love and peace!