To my dearest.

Ever since I had emotions, and learnt to express them, even since I've learnt what being "loved" meant, ever since I realised I'm no queen Tracy, You've been there for me. Yes, I've had no better place to express my emotions. Although a few close pals read you, they would have read me before anyway..It's just that I've felt really lonely of all the days, today. Started off normally, dad, dropping me for my class at 8, me searching for an empty desk, surrounded by few people who'll hardly notice me and leave me, day dreaming.Maths,Physics,Physics and Maths!In between, exchanging a few smses. What went wrong I don't know! I was acting weird since morning. Either being too grouchy or pretending not to listen when people are screaming their throats out! Yes, I do it purposely. You know that as well. I hate being talked to. I hate people telling me stuff. I hate people telling me I should change, in fact I hate change. I hate it when they remind me "my good ol' days", I hate it when they act ghey, I hate everything and anything around me...except when I'm all alone..digging into my choco-chips ice-cream. I don't believe what's happening to me. I have grown so stone-cold-rock-hard hearted. When was I like this?
"Do you really think you could read my face? Do you even know what I think about you? Do you know I avoid you, yet I wait for you to start a conversation and still think you're amazing?"
Somebody take me away to cherry blossom, so that I'd stay a nun my whole life, meditating!
But, in the end, you're always there to let me puke everything that's biting me up.
Maybe, it's good for me. Maybe, I'm being kept on the waiting list for things better than before, let's hope, maybe.
Maybe all this will end one day? Maybe everybody I hated, will not be hated anymore? Maybe I'll sit with people around me, happily chatting away? Maybe I'll find the person I always wanted to be with, in a person I've known for long?


Maybe I should wait?

Whatever, I know you're always there for me. All I need to do is, drag a chair, and type..!
Love you more that choco-chips,toblerone,nirvana.

Siri.

Peace.At last. Never knew I'd escape from the havoc caused by whacky brain-chewing stuff for 5 hours straight. I know we all needed a push, but we had to make it a DAY..and we all needed that PUSH..and I joined in as the propellant. For the first time in my life, I've felt what true affection was, and I'm proud..I've got the world's gems as my pals..No matter which corner of the world they are..no matter how they act..I love them.. Yeah I may act wild sometimes..without leaving anyone pissed out..I love you people..:)

And Rahul and Malvika..I had great fun today..Happy Birthday..even if your birthdays were days ago..:P..Love ya..! :)

Snigdha.

Is this what I want? Is this what i deserve? 

Reminiscence.

Life's smoother. Funnier. And weirder. I am going to turn 17 this april. It's hard to believe, I've got out of my college and I will never have to go to that college again, except for collecting my certificates! Exams went in a puff. Things ran too quick. I realized the value of three hours, when I wrote the exams. Before them, 3 hours were enough to kill loads of time. Strange, Life's so secretive. Although, I've got issues to deal with my mom and dad, they seem so un-important now. Parents. Gosh. You can't live with them, you can't live without them! This has been my dialogue since a month. But, maybe all these will be long forgotten once you realise your destiny, after all..what are all of us here for?
Maybe, they won't pester you so much for studying well, or behaving well, after you've reached your goal? I'll keep the hope alive.
All these years, I've lived believing, I'd be perfect one day. I'll have people loving me, no enemies, and I'd do things my way. Little did I realise..that one day is the day of celeebration for working out like a slave the rest of the days!
Conscience. Has been my latest enemy. I've gotta listen to my heart or this.It's so powerful! I realise, I've broken a million relations, lied many times and lost people I adored, listening to it. Well, nothing worng in listening though, wrong when I regret what I did, which cannot be corected now.
I've started searching for happiness in little things, things we wont bother noticing everyday. A butterfly, fluttering past you, the smile people give back when you smile at them.
Parents have their worries maybe. But that shouldn't stop me from doing things I love and won't do any harm. Trust. That's the magic word to let you live without worries.
I am a lot more happier, cause I met my 2nd class mate, on one of the entrance exams. We were a bench apart, but then I had the feeling I met her before. We struck a conversation, and I asked her about her where-abouts. Man! When we dug up the whole topic..she was my friend! Gosh! It's so exciting to meet your friends after years! She couldn't recognize me..but "SNIGDHA!" the name of a jobless kid, who irked all the teachers reminded her. I still remember my school. The principal, is now in the 3rd stage of cancer, she was the one who loved me the most in the school.
I will be visiting her soon. Gosh! Nostalgic.
Like I always say, Life goes on. Present, is more exciting than the past or future. Live now.
------To get into the mood---listen to What about now?---Chris Daughtry.

love y'all.

snuggles.(:Pone of the best nicknames I've had.)