Remember Tapan bhaiyya told you about the balance one should maintain in life? And remember he also told you how life will throw you into situations where you will never be able to decide what you want?
All bullshit! Life will put you into situations like that to go through such bullshit and what do you do after getting out of it?
Okay okay. Wait. Before I write the actual stuff, I should talk about something happy.
I will tell you guys now okay? Yeah. I have a boyfriend. Tall, handsome and smart.
2 and a half years ago, I met him at an Ashram. I know. Wrong place. But ah, who cares?
He's back to India and I spent one and a half awesome freaking days with him at Vizag. The beach, the ice cream, the sheesha and the hugs.
And before I knew what was happening I was back to Hyd on the 9th morning. Yep, he's awesome. Now I can't stop talking to him. :)
I watched "3 idiots" and I get the point.
I think Shrujan, Aarthi, Amal, Rahul, Jhanvi and Malvika think I'm good for nothing. And that's one reason why I'm not really hanging out with them much. Another reason, they're being too protective. I dunno if that's good or bad. Cause when Nikhil was too protective, I felt suffocated. But hey! The others are you best friends. Let's see.
Tejas is a bit too busy to talk nowadays. He needs his space, I know. Okay. I'm not cribbing. Its just that.. never mind. Meanwhile, Pranay anna is ever ready to kick me and get me talking. I love you anna!
I'm shopping a bit too much nowadays. But hey! Atleast I'm showing some interest in myself.
What's hard? To digest the fact that people around you are waaaaaayyy better than you. Imagine getting grades like C- and C in your report card? Omg! If I was still in school, I'd stop playing tennis for a whole month and sit and get better.
But here? I freaking don't understand what color looks good with chrome yellow or which stitch is used where? I mean, wtf! I never held a needle for more than 10 minutes before. And now they expect me to stitch stuff and all. What about those weird exercises the Elements of design professor gives you? They're fun alright. But where are the freaking marks going?
Whatever I do, all I get is "No. There's something missing. I don't get what you want to express". If you freaking can't understand any of my work, why the hell are you expecting me to make something you'll understand?
People here have trained their minds to accept and love art and craft. What was I doing? Dreaming about calculus and organic chemistry. What now? Sit and try hard.
Wondering why I'm talking about this all of a sudden? Ah. My first semester's marks are out. I am hanging my head in shame. C- ? WHAT THE HELL!
And Daddy says " You passed, didn't you? Excel in your work. Marks will follow. Why did you watch 3 idiots anyway?". VERY nice. You have no idea what it feels like to get out of one semester with C-. You were a freaking topper since your birth!
And what's funny? The subjects I love are the non-core subjects. And here I am, doing awesome in my non-core subjects.
What is bothering me?
The feeling that people will consider me as a good for nothing kid. Its not that I expected myself to top my class, but hey! C-? Thu!
You know what? I'll do well this time. No matter what I have to give up, I'll do well this time. Maybe I've been to lazy to focus. But that's not me. I am not one of those dumb blondes.
Okay. Now I know what's it to be like the kid who neglects her studies. But, I prefer getting back to the old me, the one who gave a damn about her marks.
C- eh? Wait.
Oh. Happy(?)new year btw.
2010 no. Make it a lot more fun than 2009.
And when I cried cause I got such shitty marks, I wanted a huge bear hug. I'm going to hug the next person I see on my way to the canteen.
Till then, survive.
Snigdha
