The Awakening.

I realized I didn't post my first ever full fledged poem here. I know it could have been better, but I'm awfully proud of myself. When he read it, he appreciated my work. Makes me more proud of myself. Means a lot. Nobody did that before. It means I could capture something wonderful if he says it's "exceptional".

Snow flakes on the white bench,

Crows wailing at the black bay.

Peaceful, they claim it to be

A stranger in the darkness, a lover at sea.

The hopeful promises on the mind unrest

Is it the world or just me?

To few who know, for most who do,

For things lost, I care not for who.

Too many whores and thieves in disguise,

you fall with eyes blind not knowing why.

Farther I aim, I fail to see.

What I have now will make the most of me.

What the grains give to the womb

that makes it grow.

Like a poor man's meal,

I hate to throw.

" I promise this won't happen, I will let this be. "

As many times said, how many un-believed.

" You will be the one, to be my lovely wife "

Three hundred said to, one will choose thee.

Forgive not, for I know the truth

Is it the world or just me?

A fold on the heart's sleeve

as we stammer for prayers

the world that is groaning,

to do more than breathe, a less painful memory.

I wait for you to end the routine,

I wish you could see what it does to me.

Our lives are entwined, but you will never see

what lies inside us, shall serve its purpose to thee.

I will never be her, who walks helpless with no heart.

In love, you find weak. Strength as the prowess.

Death riding in a chariot,

stamps on the mahogany desk.

Black widows and white plain fish bowls.

Is it the world or just me?

I just watched K-Pax. And I feel different. Like some new found strength got stored back into my body.

If is a little word with a big meaning. But love is a 4 letter word with infinite power.

This feels great.

Where there is a way.

SUMMER.

(And I thought I should upload photographs that I clicked a long time ago.)

Bottles and boundaries.

When one fills freedom, the other restrains it.

A Trunk.

Talk about scars.

Lights.

Life and death.

Beings.

Pain and its adversity.

For the times they are aaaaaa-changing.

Unbelievable but true, trash every horoscope/astrological book you've had which says 'Taureans and change are two things that cannot be put together in the same sentence, unless it's negative.'

My change, the change I brought to myself is beautiful. Quite quick, I know. Yesterday, like one of those days, I had a brilliant 24 hours without feeling low for once. I felt nice and different. And the regular meeting with the man turned out to be extraordinary. It's funny how you can sit and crib about all the bad things that have gone wrong and be okay in a jiffy if you're around someone. True, Life must have been a bitch, but it's NOW that we've got. The present is turning out to be more tolerable than the past or the future.

I fell asleep with a sense of security, a feeling I'd be woken up abruptly because I've strongly managed to push him to write TONIGHT. It was a pleasant night. And my brain responds quite quickly, and tadaaaaa I was asleep. Like a baby, like a body unaware of its surroundings, where physical presence didn't matter. Almost the best 6 hours of the next day.

I keep jabbering or rambling most of the times, I'm waiting desperately to listen to the poem. As evident as it can get, he's going to put me through a suffering for falling asleep before listening to it and see what I'm going to do. It's funny, I feel so pro already. :D

Basically, I'm happy. The world's quite alright, really. It's bad and all that, but it's still tolerable. The change is a passion fruit growing in your papaya orchard, abrupt and confusing? For you. I'm fixing my comfortable buttons here, yooohooo.

This is how I feel. The morning is just a few hours away. And life is pleasant, sorry to disappoint ya'll. It really is.

Balance, yes I know. Let's save the world now.

Love,

The happiest girl on the planet at the moment. (Like seriously you wouldn't want to challenge unless you want to lose miserably and feel horrible!)

October 12th, 2010.

Is this like for real? I’m freaking out. But then, I’m not sure how to react to this one. Unbelievable. :]

Maybe it’s just something that I’ll laugh about later?

What about the blue eyed boy? :P

How life plays with me!

“You know how easy these mid-terms are compared to the examinations life is going to put you through? It’s true. College will conduct an exam after teaching you the subject. Life puts you through an exam first and then it teaches you lessons”. – Dad.

I’m sorry. Off late, I realized that I have become too random. It’s actually a good thing. I am not talking about something too direct to give the reader a very clear image of what’s happening. It’s random. It’s perfect. Those who need to understand will be just fine.

Whatever happened to those days when people smiled from their hearts and shook hands that didn’t explore the other’s back pockets?

Oh.

A couple of days ago, under the building where I stay, a dog gave birth to puppies. They were adorable. Okay which new born thing isn’t?

I couldn’t however, click their pictures cause I had to give the camera back to the person I took it from. And days passed that way, waking up and looking at the pups sucking milk and sleep all day. They didn’t even open their tiny eyes! And a couple of days later, they opened their eyes. Began to walk around. Play with one another.

However, the mother of these pups, I noticed, was always sitting in a corner. Sleeping all day. Maybe it’s a post-delivery thing? I don’t know.

The father played with the pups. And one day, there was a girl who wanted to take a pup home. She carefully picked a pup and turned her back, when the father barked and almost tore her dress down. She screamed. She ran away throwing the pup down. The pup was taken back into the litter. And the very next day when I woke up, I saw no puppies. All I saw was the mother Dog, in the corner, looking extremely sad. The father Dog wasn’t around. It wasn’t hard to guess that the puppies were taken away. Believe me, the mother Dog is still sitting on the stairs, looking depressed like never before. And every night, I hear dogs barking somewhere far away and the father Dog trying to, erm, reply maybe?

The separation from its’ mother is heart breaking. Every night when I talk to Sai, the father Dog keeps barking. And a couple of other dogs bark back. I wish I could understand what they’re saying. What happened to those puppies?

Okay. I look at it this way.

61-63 days, the dog remains pregnant. It gives birth. It’s an amazing feeling for the Dog. The puppies are growing. And one day, they’re snatched away from her.

Imagine if something like that happened with us?

9 months. Mother gives birth. Plays with the child. Looks at the child growing. And one day, the child is taken away from her. Anybody with a heart and a brain, who has been blessed with emotions by God, will easily slip into major depression.

What could be done?

And as I type this, the father Dog keeps barking. Hoping to find his pups the next day. And I can hear a couple of barks from somewhere not close to my place.

Is it the hope that keeps them going? Will they move on like us? What are they going to do now?

I’m glad I shared it here. It has been troubling me since the day the pups were taken away.

What has man learnt all these years? To live for himself? Sorry. We don’t own this place. We don’t have a freaking right to act like royal heirs of this planet. We cannot, CANNOT control this planet. And we still do it. Why? We have something that other animals/things don’t (probably), It’s the ego. It’s the freedom that has been given to us, that we misuse. And you thought it was the brain? Sorry. Dolphins are blessed with a good brain too. They’re one of the smartest things on earth. Why haven’t they acted like us?

Ego, my dear people.

I seriously don’t know how to end this. It kills me, when I realize that whatever I do, to save this planet, isn’t going to be enough. It needs effort. From millions of people who eat, sleep and work throughout the world.

I want to live here. I want my children and their children and their children and so on and so forth, to live here. To experience what we’ve experienced. To know how it feels living in between creatures other than the ones that walk with two legs and ride in 2/4/8/ god knows how many wheels vehicles and stomp their own species to achieve something bigger in life.

And I’m not sure how this is going to be possible.

See? The Dog's still barking.

Know what I mean?

 

Love.

......

I know what I want.
A change. I am super mean. And ruthless.
Even if it's going to make my friends (the so called ones) hate me.
The real ones will not give a damn.

Strong.

Good for me.

hey look. I'm done. Thanks. :)

HAHA. You're the loser. :)